I had an interesting conversation recently with a childhood friend. We haven’t spoken for some time. So I wondered about her and what she was like after all this time.
When we met, my first impression was how glamorous she was and so self-assured, and I initially felt rather dowdy and insignificant. However as the converation moved on she told me that as a child she was envious of me . She was envious of my smart school uniform and the school I attended. That had never occurred to me at the time, and I was really surprised of the memories she had.
Thinking about our meeting afterwards, I thought how interesting it was that the tables had turned in effect, in the way we perceived ourselves as children and in our present day perceptions.
We can’t compare ourselves to others as it’s destructive.
What perceptions do you have about others and how does it affect your relationships with them?
Do you feel uncomfortable if they –
- Have a bigger house
- A newer car
- Seem more successful
- Dress more expensively
And more importantly, how does that affect your relationship with them. Do you feel inferior to them, and does that effect your self-confidence.
Some people put those who they perceive as ‘better’ than them on a pedestal, trying to mimic them, instead of being themselves. Comparing ourselves to others really isn’t helpful as we then try to be something or someone we aren’t and we lose ourselves, and our identity. No longer knowing who we are.
Each of us is individual and unique, just like every individual snowflake is individual and special. Learning to accept ourselves and others just for ourselves, celebrating our individuality and our strengths will build more solid and meaningful relationships.
For me, my core values and beliefs are far more important than all the material trappings, which can be discarded and exchanged for a newer version. My experiences and true values are what make me the person I am today. I want to be valued for those and not my material possessions.