No time for romance – and definitely not sex!

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No time for romance – and definitely not sex!

Screen Shot 2016-04-20 at 09.18.11Couples who have been together for a while tell me there are many reasons why they don’t have time to spend with each other. They say they are too tired, or stressed, or there are too many other things to do. Interestingly that even though they had lots of things going on in their lives when they first got together, they still had time for each other.

So what is really going on? 

When challenged, they often admit there are other reasons. Constant arguments where harsh words and accusations are made, leave couples feeling they don’t want to be romantic or loving toward each other, or wanting to make themselves vulnerable, in case it’s used against them.

But is that the whole story?

I would suggest that there could be more to it. The culture we live in gives us conflicting messages when it comes to sex, such as ‘you shouldn’t have sex until you are married ‘, ‘ Have sex when you want it’. Girls who have children outside of a long term relationship are often frowned upon, especially by those in authority. Abortion is a huge debate, with people feeling really strongly in one direction or another. And let’s not get started on ‘gay marriage’.

We feel embarrassed about talking about ‘private’ areas of our lives, not even giving our genitals their proper names. We often struggle talking to our GP about problems with our genital areas.

There are divided views when it comes to sex education for children in schools, with parents often getting really angry when the subject arises, at the same time often feeling too shy to talk to their children themselves.

On the other side of the coin, the media show more and more explicit sex scenes, with access to porn freely available on the internet, portraying nubile young people, not ordinary men and women.

So where does this leave you when it comes to sex in relationships?

Does part of you feel guilty about freely indulging in sex and actually enjoying it, or are there critical messages ringing in your ears. Perhaps you feel that sex is just for the young beautiful people, and that once your body start to age, or change in shape or size you are no longer desirable.

Is it any wonder if you may feel embarrassed about sex, finding it difficult talking about sex with your partner?

It’s really time we banished these taboos. Until we do, couples will continue experiencing issues within their relationships.

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