It's Not Me It's You | Relationship Counselling | Relationship Issues

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It’s Not Me, It’s You!

 

This Christmas I decided to take myself away somewhere in the sun. It felt quite strange because it didn’t have the same feel of Christmas, and I was away from family and friends, but it was warm and sunny and great to get away from it all and relax. I wasn’t expecting to be dealing with my hosts’ relationship issues, not that I minded.

I stayed with a Spanish lady who I hadn’t met previously, but that doesn’t faze me, as I enjoy meeting new people and having different experiences.  I was a lovely villa, and not too far from the sea.

There was another guest there,  an English guy who had been there for a month and was planning to stay long- term.

Initially, my hostess was friendly and talkative, but as the days went on she became distant and withdrew, at the same time the English guest was talkative during the first day and then stopped engaging. I sensed quite an atmosphere between them.

Interestingly each confided in me that they felt the other was being moody and distant. When I suggested to each of them they talk to each other, they both said ‘NO’, they would see if things settled down on their own. Then the English guy said he was going to find somewhere else to live, as he didn’t like the atmosphere. He didn’t recognise the fact that he played a part in the situation.

So each took the view ‘ It’s not me – it’s you’

This is such a familiar story to me. People would rather ignore their relationship issues, hoping they will just right themselves on their own rather than talking things through. Whether it be with their partner, friend, or work colleague. The result being resentments and misunderstandings building up, often resulting with the relationship ending, many times on bad terms.

We each have choices as to whether we do something about situations, and we each have to take responsibility for the outcome. Those two people I mentioned chose to do nothing and so neither was happy. Each feeling it was the other’s fault, tiptoeing around each other, feeling miserable and uncomfortable……………..

Me – I would rather not have had two people bending my ear about relationship issues when I was on a break, but I had an enjoyable time, and I didn’t get drawn into their problem. I just took myself away from it all.

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