How To Leave An Abusive Relationship | Your Relationship Specialist

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How To Leave An Abusive Relationship

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So if you are in an emotional or physically abusive relationship, and you are very unhappy, scared, hurting – either emotionally or physically. You know you should leave but it’s not that easy.

My story

I know – as I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for several years. He didn’t use physical violence against me, but the threat was there. I walked on eggshells every day, everything I said or did was measured so as not to make him angry.

He watched every move I made, monitored my phones calls, didn’t like me having friends. He threatened suicide or violence against me if I tried to leave him. He put me down all the time until I had no self-confidence left.

How could this happen to me, an intelligent woman? He kept telling me it was my fault so he must be right – it was my fault. I shouldn’t goad him, upset him, say the wrong thing or behave in a way that angered him.

How could I leave? He threatened violence against my family. I couldn’t tell anyone – I was ashamed.

At other times he was kind, considerate, and loving. He even said sorry sometimes for his behaviour. But it kept happening……..

Then I decided I couldn’t take any more.

  • It wasn’t my fault – he needed to take responsibility for his actions
  • His behaviour wasn’t acceptable – it wasn’t normal to show love in that way, name-calling, threats, bullying.
  • I had to make it stop and tell someone
  • Just because he said he loved me and apologised didn’t stop it happening time after time
  • I couldn’t fix him by trying to be a better person. He needed to get help himself

So take those first steps and seek help and advice –

It wasn’t easy to leave the relationship, and it took several years to do it, but I did, and my life is so much happier now. My confidence has grown so much stronger, and I’m free, my own person.

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